Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Trusted

I've known several people who've had babies recently and seen a few say things about how grateful they are to have been "trusted with one of Heavenly Father's spirits" or the like. Something about that phrase never sat right with me. Then a friend struggling with infertility wrote something in a blog post about it being hurtful. That's when I realized why I didn't like it: are we implying that God doesn't trust certain people to be parents because they can't easily get pregnant? I know that's no ones intention and it's a lovely sentiment but how true is it? 

I remember the summer before my last year of college I read the Kite Runner. When I read about the narrator and his wife trying for years to have children and never being able to, I was haunted. It was the first time I'd really thought about infertility, and it was so heartbreaking and terrifying. All my life I'd planned on having a big family without the thought ever occurring to me that maybe I couldn't. It scared me so much actually that I'm pretty sure that's what started me thinking about getting pregnant that summer. Fortunately the timing was also perfect. 
The one single month I waited to take a pregnancy test was such an anxiety-filled emotional roller coaster. Longest month of my life. I couldn't believe people had to go through this over and over and over. I don't think I would've been strong enough. (I know this is a very touchy subject and I hope I haven't offended anyone by even thinking I can empathize in a tiny way). 

Fast forward a few years and there are several amazing people I know who would make great parents but haven't been able to. And do I think it's because God trusts them less than the kids on "16 and Pregnant"? Not a chance. 

What I think is that God isn't as much of a micromanager as we like to think. He does trust us. He trusted us enough to give us agency and imperfect bodies and imperfect circumstances and to see what we'd do with those things. I'm not saying His hand isn't in our lives--it's there to support us through it all but not to control everything. But I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud. I really am just curious. What do you think? 


My favorite quote from the book "Unbreakable": What God asks of men...is faith. His invisibility is the truest test of that faith. To know who sees him, God makes himself unseen.

7 comments:

Annie said...
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Annie said...
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Annie said...

I am having commenting issues! I hate that phrase also. I don't think it's about trust - 16 and pregnant is a perfect example. It's hard to know where Gods plan ends and agency/circumstances because of the fall begin. Maybe some trials are specifically tailored and some aren't? I don't know.

Lari said...

Well said!

Andrea said...

I love this. What a beautiful quote and post

The Watson's said...

I feel the same way about the phrase, "as long as it's healthy." Drives me up the wall! So if your baby isn't healthy are you just going to give it away? What are you going to do with "it?"

s.s. bazodi said...

I agree! I think a lot of phrases just become popular and regurgitated, without people really thinking about what it means. I think God trusts us to live and love and deal with life- come what may. I think he is actively and intimately aware, and will help us feel comfort but I think he takes this whole agency thing very seriously.