Thursday, March 28, 2013

An Excuse (it's a GOOD one)

So, I know I pretty much failed at my goal to blog every day, but my slacking goes so far beyond blogging. (Get ready to feel really good about yourself):

My house is a wreck 90% of the time. I rarely get ready for the day. I spend way too much time on the couch. I sleep a lot. And I only make dinners that will take less than 15 minutes of work on my part.

But I have a fairly legitimate excuse,

or I guess you could say 2 good excuses:

Meet "Baby A" and "Baby B".

Now get ready for me to use way too many words to tell what could be a pretty short story.

I suppose it all started when Clark was about 8 or 9 months old (I share this part, because I know people secretly want to know if it was "planned", but don't know if it's appropriate to ask). He was sweet as can be and much less high-maintenance than he used to be, and I thought "Hey, I could handle another one of these." I always liked the idea of having two close in age to be little buddies. So a few months later I took a pregnancy test (it's not a written exam, kids--seriously, a 14-year-old I taught Sunday School thought it was) and... nothing. But I kept taking them for the next week or so--I wasn't taking no for an answer--and eventually got the positive I was looking for. I did a little jig with Clark and said "You're going to have a little brother!"

That was the plan, see? One little boy 18 months younger than Clark. Sure, it would be hard to have a newborn and a toddler, but it would be so fun when they were a little older. And I knew there was one little boy in there, because this pregnancy felt exactly the same as the last one. Sure, I was a little more tired but I do have a very active one-year-old.

Anyway we're big planners, Jacob and I. We like to know what's coming and be in control. We take walks and discuss our 5 and 10 year plans. And planning is good. But sometimes, just when you think you've got it all figured out, God looks at your "plan" and laughs. Because--surprise--you're not really in control of much at all! This is one of many lessons I'm sure I'm supposed to be learning.

Which brings me to my first ultrasound. I was almost 9 weeks when I went to my first prenatal appointment, but at the time I had no idea how far along I was (I won't explain more than that because it would involve the phrases "last missed period" and "regular"...ew!). So the OB did an ultrasound. I know they always search around for stuff for a while before pointing anything out to you, so I wasn't really paying attention.

That is, until she said "Was this a spontaneous pregnancy?... I mean, did you use any sort of fertility treatment?" My heart stopped, and my eyes snapped up to that screen, because I could only think of one reason she would be asking me that!

"No...nothing like that...why?"

She moves her magic want back and forth, from one little blob to another "Well, I don't know if you see what I'm seeing..."

"Two?" I asked weakly. She confirmed what has truly been one of my biggest fears for as long as I can remember. And I'm such a bad person that, honest to goodness, the first thing I thought was "Ok, who could we give one to?" In my defense, my head was spinning, and really I was being selfless because I know there are a lot of people out there who really want to have babies but can't. And I've always said "I couldn't do multiples!" Newborns overwhelm me as it is. But I quickly snapped out of it and knew that I loved both those babies and they were both meant to be with us.

She measured them and there was almost a week difference in their measurements, which she seemed a little concerned about. So of course I became a lot concerned. She told me it was still pretty early so I should come back in 3 weeks and look at them again.

The next three weeks were the longest mess of worry, and stress, and morning sickness. I couldn't stand the thought of losing one or both of them, but the more "research" (bad, bad internet!) I did, the more I was sure that one would be absorbed by the other or something. And even if everything was ok, how the  heck was I supposed to take care of THREE babies? Put three babies in car seats? Feed three babies? Afford all this junk*?

Finally the three weeks passed, and we all made it out ok. And that's where we're at. Still a little stressed and unsure of how it's all going to work out, but really happy and excited too.

*now accepting any and all used baby items and donations to the minivan fund. Ya, I'm going to be a minivan mom. At 23. I just wasn't emotionally prepared for that.


alicia marie said...

Holy heck!!!! All I can say is, congrats! Out of all my friends who have had babies (A LOT) you are the first to have twins. I love this. As I have no doubts that you will be just fine :)

Kellie said...

Congrats! That's really exciting. And you'll be great!

s.s. bazodi said...

I just wish they were siamese. Blake and I will take one if you change your minds about wanting both.

amanda and clay said...

Oh my goodness, what cuties! I can already tell they have Clark's dashing good looks. You made me laugh out loud a few times... so sorry about the mini van. I have no doubt you'll find some way to make it cute/cool. But seriously, I'm so excited for you and your family and I know that despite the challenges, you will be equal to the task--no matter how impossible it may seem now!

Annie said...

CONGRATS!!! That is so exciting/frightening :) You need to move back to AZ, girl!!!

Andrea said...

Oh my goodness! CONGRATS Natalli! Not gonna lie, that is actually one of my biggest fears too, but you know what, turns out people have twins all of the time and they survive! And so do their babies! (I have to remind myself that sometimes)I hope your pregnancy continues to go smooth:)

Alyssa Monahan said...

Natalli!! This makes me so happy! Congratulations, those babies are so lucky, what a wonderful family you are growing!

Lari said...

Well, I am very very happy too! I just have to figure out a way to help you more. As everyone above said, you will be fine. The Cluffs (across the ditch next door to Phyllis) son (well daughter-in-law) had Quadruplets!
We saw them at the ward rodeo and they are all 5 years old! Everyone in their ward took turns feeding them at night and stuff. We will have a great baby shower here. All the ladies in my ward will want to come. I LOVED Bethany's very generous offer. I bet she would let the baby sleep in her cat's bed.

amy said...

I reeeeeeeally want at least ONE of them to be a boy... mostly for selfish reasons. Even better if they are both boys, then I won't be the only one in the family pulling my hair out with 3 boys running around.
On an unselfish note, I have TONS of baby (boy) stuff. You can have it all (or just pretend you want it and throw it away) once my fetus grows out of it. I fear we are done after this one.

Cassie Traasdahl said...

I know I'm a little late but congrats girly! I would be terrified too, I think that's a normal reaction. You're right though, God definitely has his own plan for us. It'll be hard now but I'm sure it'll be SO fun when they're older. Congrats again, excited for you!

The Watson's said...

Finally reading this. You know I love you guys to pieces! Congrats!!!!!