Monday, June 25, 2012

lessons

Last week was rough. I won't get into all the boring details; babies just have lots of issues that they can't explain to you, and there's nothing more upsetting or frustrating than seeing your kid suffer and not knowing why or how to fix it. And not having hot water all week was the cherry on top. But the real purpose of this is to remind myself of all the good thoughts and insights I got from church yesterday and while taking a walk today:

* Stop praying that he'll take all the hard things away, stop the pain, change the situation and instead pray for him to change me, to give me strength to get through the hard stuff and develop a better attitude.

* Stop feeling sorry for myself and do something! Even if it's awkward and scary, I need to put myself out there and find ways to serve people.

*Ether 12:27  "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their aweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them."

* Quit doubting my ability to be a good mom. I stress way too much about all the tiny details of what parenting style is best and end up going back and forth about things that won't even matter in the long run. What he really needs is love, consistency, and confident parents he can rely on.

* I went into this role with the wrong attitude. As bad as it sounds, I was trying to make the baby's impact on my life as small as possible (i.e. let's get him to sleep through the night ASAP). And while helping him get into good habits is a good goal, it should not be the focus. I mean, how stupid to have a kid just to try to minimize his existence. He's a gift, not a burden!

I guess now I sound like a terrible person, but I promise all these negative things only come out in my weaker moments (all of last week). So much opportunity for growth!

2 comments:

shelby said...

i love this natalli! sometimes we just have to step back and take a look at the big picture. It's hard to see the big picture when we have hard times and difficult babies :) But good for you for remembering that he is a gift and we are so blessed that we can have babies and be moms! You are awesome! Love ya girl!

{the dahls} said...

I'm just going to say this. Alright, here it goes....I stalk your blog and continue to stalk it BECAUSE you are SO "real"! If you get my drift. Its nice to hear experiences and feelings you can actually relate to. It's hard to see the good through all the roughness but once you do, the blessings soon make you stronger!