Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Advice?

 
I should preface this by saying that I love my baby more than I ever knew I could, and most of the time I feel like the luckiest person. But I'd be lying if I said that I was thoroughly enjoying being a stay-at-home mom. I'm just so used to working or being in school or both that it's really hard not to feel a bit useless even though this is maybe the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm content/happy on days when I stay really busy running errands and stuff. Then on days like today, when I can't think of anywhere I need to go, I just feel so blehh and wonder if I'm cut out for this. I don't think it would necessarily be a bad thing if I'm not, but this is what I've always wanted to be. I'm sure to a lot of people it seemed like a pretty pathetic dream next to all the future doctors and astronauts or whatever, but it's just what I genuinely wanted to do.

So now I'll cut to the chase. I'm giving anyone and everyone permission to preach to me, because I truly want to know: How can I enjoy the day to day more? How can I feel like I'm not doing absolutely nothing just because I don't see the fruits of my labors right away? What kind of things can I do to keep myself busy/sane? (I don't think it helps that we have NO friends or family near by). I think I'm just really bad at the whole "finding joy in the journey" thing. I'm always trying to get to the next step. I don't want to be that way, I'm just not sure how to change my attitude. So help me out all you smart, experienced people!


8 comments:

The Watson's said...

I was like you with just one child. I was stir crazy. Two kids, you will stay busy! I "advise" you to MAKE FRIENDS! Regardless, how old or young. I would go to every play date and or RS activity that I could. It was better than staying home and that way the "locals" can give you tips on things to do in the area. Ex: Some theatres do mommy viewings. They are once a week and during the day where you can take your infant to an adult movie. I have to say I was one of the only people there sometimes. I could get you into digital scrapbooking. Takes up some time and it is inexpensive.

Little Beachs said...

I'm away from friends and family. My little one is now two so it's easier to stay "busy" but sitting at the park for 3 hours isn't fun when your alone.
I'm now checking into dance lasses or her and I but maybe some businesses around you do mommy and me classes. Or ask your RS president if she knows of any mommy groups within the ward.
I suk at making new friends but that's my fault.
I hope ou start o enjoy it more don't feel bad though it's hard to feel like your "pulling your weight" or whatever I'll your kiddo starts becoming moble

Andrea said...

I'm not where you are quite yet (just a couple months away), but I'm worried about the same thing. I know that I go nuts when I'm between jobs, so I'm pretty sure the whole stay-at-home thing will be difficult for me too. Usually, when I'm going stir crazy, art/craft projects help. When I'm creating something, I get the feeling of accomplishment again. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it, but I always feel better about myself after.

Em said...

I agree with the other comment about going to all the play group/RS activities you can. When my kids were little, we would go to story time at the library, the zoo, the park and whatever other free/inexpensive activities I could find. Getting out of the house is important, or you do get stir crazy! You will be much busier once he is crawling and getting into everything! I know it's hard, but for me I'm so glad I didn't miss out on anything my babies and toddlers did. It's so amazing to look at the world through their eyes, like you're seeing and experiencing things for the first time. There's not a person in the world that can raise him better than you can! Those first years are soooo important. I'm very grateful I didn't have to leave my babies to go to work. It is a big change from what you've been doing, but you'll find your groove. It will be more fun when he's a little bigger, and you won't ever be bored once you have more than one kid!You are so crafty that you should have all kinds of projects to do! Make some yummy new recipes, start a book club...etc.

amanda and clay said...

I wish I had some advice but I'm totally unqualified. I just hope in a couple years you can give ME some advice, because I'm pretty sure I'll feel the same way. And it's nice to know I won't be the only one. I sure do wish you guys lived closer!

shelby said...

Natalli, I was the same way even though I had family and friends nearby. I hate being in the house for too long. I have no craftiness though so that was difficult for me. I started doing cakes when maddix was little and that was fun to look forward to. I agree with the above comments about getting out of the house, taking walks, exploring whatever is free or cheap. I wish I had more advice, but I'm not the best at this!All I can say is that now that maddix is a busy boy life is not boring anymore and easy to stay busy so try to enjoy the little time you have while he is small and the only one, even thought it can be very difficult sometimes!! good luck girl! the Lord will bless you for being a mother :)

Lari said...

I just HATED working and leaving you guys. (even though it was only a couple of times a month) I think I am very lazy because I love not going to work. Like Emmalee said you don't want to miss any of the daily wisdom Clark will share with you. Today Brynlee announced that she wants an Ipad. She announced it several times.

Heidi and Bryan said...

Hey, sometime I read your blog, and I wanted to comment on this. Something I have done here in DC where the mommy scene is slim to none, I got a part time nanny job. I work 3 days a week, get to bring madi with me, and then I have the other 2 days to fit in my own play dates and around the house stuff. It has been the best thing for me. I get to be with Madi, get paid, and feel productive. Win, win win! I found my job on a site care.com. You can type in your zipcode and make a profile and start applying if you are interested!
Heidi (Bethanys pal!)