good things

Lots of good things happening in my world lately...

 I get out of the house almost daily. Yesterday was for a Bachelorette premier viewing at Brooke's.

I remembered seeing this on Oprah years ago, and looked it up yesterday. Think what you will, but it's absolutely true! I'm so glad I found it again.

Clark went 6 hours last night without needing a feeding and slept from 8pm to 7am. This is a big deal. It brings me hope that one day I will sleep again. It's also great that I can put him down wide awake at night and know he will go to sleep without a peep!

Having a baby with me makes me feel like it's more socially acceptable to dance and sing along to Madonna's "Like a Prayer" when it comes on at the grocery store. There's no holding back now.

A move sometime this weekend or next is looking promising! Let's hope it all works out.

that smile

I was having a hard time getting a picture of Clark smiling real big, so I took a video instead (on my cellphone, mind you). The kids were all feeling his belly, and every time he would hiccup they would giggle and he would smile and coo. Couldn't get the sound to work which is kind of sad but kind of good, because I hate hearing my own voice.

moms and stuff

Things on my mind this mother's day:

*I'm really lucky to have such an amazing mom (read about why she's so great here) and a husband raised by an equally amazing mom

*Even though I have my rough days, I can't think of anything that would be better for me than being Clark's mom. For the longest time, I've known what kind of person I want to be and have worked and prayed for the qualities that would make me that person--without much success. But being a mom has compelled me to have more patience, charity, and pretty much all of the qualities I want/need. I guess the point is that we aren't just made better people because we want to be; we're given experiences that provide us opportunities for growth. blehh I can't really explain very well what I'm thinking, but this pretty much sums it up:

"Jesus’ love was inseparably connected to and resulted from his life of serving, sacrificing, and giving in behalf of others. We cannot develop Christlike love except by practicing the process prescribed by the Master...Is there a greater love among mortals than that of a mother, who offers all for her child? Many who desire to have charity like Jesus attain it as he did." (C. Max Caldwell)

*This video is amazing. I've always loved it, but it means so much more now...especially after a really stressful, discouraging day.

*What could be better than spending all my time with this guy? He really does get cuter every day.

 He sure loves his cousins (and attention). 

This ish is bananas

Last week Jacob had to go to California to start work so that we would have health insurance and so he could find us a place to live. It was really hard for me to have him gone the entire week, but I survived! And then we were suppose to move into our perfect new home/apt./condo and start life.

But here I am, sitting at my parents' house while Jacob drives a U-Haul to California. He did find a really great place for us to live, but we won't be able to move in until mid June or later. So I had two choices: go live with complete strangers for two months and sit around their home all day with a crying newborn while Jacob was at work or stay here in Arizona with my parents but without my husband. Wait, where's the good alternative? I really didn't want to do either! But I knew that I needed to stay where I would feel most comfortable, where I could get Clark into a routine, and where I could have just a little stability amid all these huge changes.

I know it's not that big of deal--Jacob is flying down every weekend--but it is really hard for me. I've never liked change and especially hate when things don't go the way I had planned (ok, maybe I'm a control freak). And I really need my husband's love and support at this time where I feel like such a tired mess. wah wah, woe is me. I know so many people have it SO much worse. It just shows how incredibly easy my life has been that this is a struggle for me.

Now to be positive for a second. I would way rather wait a few months to live somewhere perfect for us than to settle for something crappy right now. I am really glad that I get to spend more time with family before we move away. I am glad that I don't have to settle in somewhere again and then again. I am glad that Clark can stay in a place where we've started to establish a routine and where so many people love him. And I really will be fine. I'm always doubting my ability to deal with hard things, and then with a lot a prayer and a little effort, I do just fine.