Sunday

Today we brought all 3 kids to all 3 hours of church for the first time. We've been to just sacrament meeting a few times before which was no different than normal, because the babies just sleep the whole time. But by noon, they're ready for lunch. So I went to the mother's lounge with one baby, fed her, changed her and then switched Jacob for the next baby. Worked out pretty well. And I love my ward, because there are like 5 other moms feeding there babies, too, so we get to be social. Sometimes if there's just one other mom, it can be a little awkward (oh hey, my shirt's off and I'm covered in vomit. Nice to meet you). But with a group, it's great. Then in Relief Society a sweet lady held Wendy the whole time while Magnolia slept in her car seat. Thank goodness women love to hold newborns. Also two different people offered to bring me their outgrown extra diapers. The church is true!

Clark also got to go to nursery for the first time. I have looked forward to this day for about 9 months now. Unfortunately (once snack time was over), Clark was not a fan. You always see that clingy kid screaming in nursery and think "that will never be MY kid". Well it is. This seems pretty out of character for him, but he's been pretty dramatic lately. Can't blame him. Better luck next week.

And tonight just before putting Clark to bed, I had one of these rare moments where it fully hits me how lucky I am and my heart is so full of love for these little guys and joy that they're mine. I can't explain it without sounding like a super cheeseball but if you're a mom, you get it. Or just look at this picture and you maybe kind of get it.

1 Month

Well, we've all survived our first month as a family of five! All I can say about my little girls as of now is that they seem to be a bit more calm than a certain older brother was as a newborn and that they love each other--I mean they fused placentas for goodness sake (a fact I will use against them if they ever want there own rooms, or fight.) Every night we put them in the same crib, swaddled, a foot or more apart and somehow they're right up next to each other by the time we get up. It's kind of precious. Until Wendy starts trying to suck on Magnolia's face. Then it's kind of weird.

I've found that I've been able to stay way more laid back with these babies and just enjoy them than I was the first time around because I have Clark as a constant remind of how quick it goes by--seriously weren't you just born?

Anyway, I like the idea of taking photos each month because it's nuts how fast the grow and change during the first year so hopefully I can keep it up.

And world's cutest photo bomber. Little sister's pretty happy about it. 

Coming Home

All I can really say above my recovery is that is was a million times easier than recovering after having Clark.  I've never been so pleased with my body and its ability to do hard things and heal itself so quickly. And while there were a few moments of fear and anxiety, it was nothing like the panic I felt when I first became a mom. There have been way too many miracles in the last 9 months for me to have much doubt that God is looking out for me.

And I mean...

So after two days at the hospital, I was feeling almost completely back to normal and so excited to get home and be with Clark and Jacob (they had been sick so spent very little time in the hospital). On Friday morning the hospital pediatrician came in to check vitals and everything before discharging them. I was on the phone waiting to order my breakfast as he checked them. He told me that Maggie had lost too much weight, so he didn't think it was a good idea to discharge them today. Right as he started to go into more detail, the person on the phone asked me to place my order... "I umm.. hold on". I should've just hung up, but I froze and wasn't thinking clearly. The pediatrician stormed off as if I'd offended him (I'm sure he was just busy) so I finished placing my order, not feeling at all hungry anymore.

Just then my mom came back from getting her breakfast, and I just burst into tears. I felt so guilty that we hadn't gotten the babies to eat more and that I'd offended the pediatrician and that I couldn't be home taking care of the rest of my family. Then of course my nurses for the day walked in and I was embarrassed to be such a wreck, but surely they see lots of crazy hormonal women. Everyone reassured me and made me feel a little better. And we dedicated all day to getting those babies fattened up which meant waking them up every 3 hours, day and night, and forcing them to eat. Considering it took about an hour to get them both fed, burped, and changed, I could never sleep more than two hours at a time--it was exhausting! We were thrilled when we took them to their midnight weigh-in, and they'd both gained weight.

So imagine my shock and frustration when the pediatrician came in the next morning and said we would have to stay at least one more day since Wendy was still losing weight. Whaaa? I told him that I was pretty sure the nurse said they had both gained last night, but didn't want to argue with him. But after he left my mom affirmed that she had definitely said that and went to ask the nurse about it. Pretty much the lady working that night had entered the WRONG weight in the computer. I was really annoyed and so sick of being in the dang hospital, especially since I wasn't getting free meals anymore and knew we were just racking up the bills because of someone's mistake. Oh well. We kept working hard to get the girls to eat and finally got to go home on Sunday morning.

So far, things have been going better than I expected. This is probably because the babies just sleep most of the time still, but I'll take it. I'm also really pleased with how great Clark has been. No jealousy or clinginess or resentment toward the babies. He just plays happily on his own most of the day and occasionally wants to touch one of his sisters, but is pretty much over the novelty now and lets them be. When one of them cries, he gets really concerned and says "Happened?!" (as in "what happened?"). I could not have asked for a better kid to throw into such a crazy situation. Breastfeeding both girls has gone way better than I had hoped, too. I had pretty low expectations from the beginning since I had a hard enough time with just one baby, and I didn't know if I'd produce enough to feed them both or have the patience or if they'd struggle more since they were a little premature. But so far, they're doing great! It's a little tricky to feed and burp them both at the same time but I got world's most obnoxiously huge nursing pillow, and we're starting to get the hang of it.

Ok, I feel like this is all a big brag about how great my life is, but I really feel so blessed. And it can be really hard and overwhelming sometimes, but thank goodness for all the family nearby!


Bethany came over to get some photos of our family which was next to impossible (have you met Clark?). Somehow she managed to catch a few gems though!

He kills me

"Here, Maggie. Have a cookie"

How Magnolia and Wendy Arrived

Here's a timeline of events leading up to having the babies. As in this is a birth story. So quit reading if you're not into that kind of thing.

Friday, 9/13- Go in for my usual ultrasound and follow-up and am told that both babies have cysts on their kidneys which could be a sign of a serious problem so I should see a high risk doctor right away. They tell me they'll try to get me an appointment for that day and call me back right away.
My initial reaction is that everything is fine, and I shouldn't be worried. But then they don't call back for hours, and I start getting upset. Why are they not getting back to me? Why wouldn't they just induce me at this point (almost 37 weeks) if there's a potential problem? Finally they call me back and say they managed to find me an appointment for the following Tuesday. This is frustrating because I don't want to wait that long, but deep down I still feel like there's no need to worry.

Tuesday, 9/17- Go to my ultrasound with the high risk doctor. She says their kidneys look completely normal. However, they now appear to be in one placenta when earlier ultrasounds always showed two. So they probably fused into one. Kinda weird. Baby B also had quite a bit more fluid than Baby A which can cause problems, blah blah blah. Basically mono/di twins (which I now was carrying) have more risks when carried past 37 weeks than di/di twins (what everyone thought I was carrying).
So later I met with my OB and she said that if I'd made any progress that they would try to get me induced pretty soon. I was really glad to hear this. She checked me and I was at 5 cm, so she would try to get an induction scheduled and call me to let me know. I was thinking this meant I might get to be induced by the end of the week, but they called an hour later and told me I was scheduled to go in at 5 the next morning! Trying to sleep that night was worse than trying to sleep as a kid on Christmas Eve (maybe because world's worst heartburn and backache were added to the excitement and anxiety). Conveniently, the episode of Full House where Becky goes into labor with her twins was on.

Last bump shot: the night before being induced. Good thing, too, since this is one of 4 tops that still fit.

Wednesday, 9/18
4:30 AM: Jacob's mom arrives to stay with Clark, and we head off to the hospital. I tell Jacob I really need an Egg McMuffin, but then remember that McDonald's isn't open at 4:30 AM. Grrr I'm going to be starving all day. And I'm pretty sure I will be in labor all day, because that just seems to be what happens with inductions.

5:00- Get to the hospital. Wait for a while. Paper work, get taken to labor and delivery.

6:00-8:00- My mom and Bethany show up to keep me entertained. More paperwork, answering questions, getting my IV put in (after THREE tries. Ouch!), check me--I'm already at a 6.5, ultrasound to see how babies are positioned (Baby A head-down as always, Baby B breech at the moment). My OB tells me that she's completely comfortable doing breech extractions with the second twin, but that there are risks involved, etc. It is also possible that once the first baby is out, she'll flip head down or sideways. If the latter happens, there's really no choice but to deliver via c-section. So delivering both vaginally and c-section would really suck, but we decide to go for it anyway. She tells me that I have to deliver in the OR and have an epidural fairly soon in case of an emergency c-section.
There's only allowed to be one person with me in the OR, and Jacob really doesn't want to be the one in there if I end up having a c-section, so we decide that if that ends up being the case, he and my mom can hurry and switch places.

Mom and Jacob get their cool OR outfits on and Bethany starts Instagramming it up. 

8:30- The nurse says she's starting the pitocin which I'm a little terrified of because I've heard that it causes very sudden, painful contractions rather than the gradual ones that happen naturally. About an hour passes and I'm still not feeling any painful, regular contractions. Again, I start to worry that this is going to take all day.

9:30- I'm given the epidural which makes me nervous, but doesn't actually hurt much. My OB checks me right after and I'm at an 8.5. How I dilated to 8.5 cm without feeling a thing is beyond me, but I couldn't be more grateful. She says "may as well break her water" and get the OR set up. We hurry and decide on our names, but not who gets which and Jacob gives me a speed blessing because people are in and out of my room like crazy.

a little after 10- OB checks me again and I'm fully dilated. The nurse says we should get to the OR and my OB says "don't you want to have her do a practice push first to see how fast we'll go?". Nurse looks again, "ehhh..."
"I'm a pretty good pusher," I pipe up and my mom and Jacob agree.
"Ya, we better just go" the Dr says and they wheel me into to OR.

10:15- The OR is a little too intense for my taste. There's a giant light shining on me and a million people rushing around and speaking in medical jargon like I'm about to die. I couldn't really think straight. They move me onto the operating table and get everything else ready, then tell me to get ready to push.

10:22- "Ok, push!" "Ok STOP pushing!" Little Magnolia pretty much just slipped right out. They hand her to me, and I'm kinda thrown off because I want them to clean her off first and there's still another baby inside me. I just keep saying "so tiny!" They ask Jacob if he wants to cut the cord, and we both say "no, no" right away because him passing out is the last thing we need right now.

Magnolia Taylor, 5 lbs 3 oz, 19.3 in

Now they break Baby B's water and I have a small panic attack because I don't know if and how she has flipped. I can't remember if they did an ultrasound real quick or if my OB just felt up there to see, but she was still coming feet first. She tries to get a good hold on her legs, but I'm having a really strong contraction and then the baby is flailing her legs all about, so it takes a few minutes. The whole time I'm just praying that I don't have to have a c-section and that they don't break any bones or something pulling her out. I also keep looking over at the baby I just had. Finally, she gets a good hold on both of Wendy's little legs and tells me to push on the next contraction. But there aren't really any so they tell me to just push anyway. I stop when I see her feet, but they all shout "Keep pushing!"

10:30- They pull Wendy out. I look away while they do, because it just scares me for a baby to come out that way. When I look up, she looks totally dead which they did warn me about before--I guess it's normal when they're delivered breech--but I still don't like it. They get us all cleaned off, and Jacob says "she's crying!" which makes me feel better.

Wendy Mead, 6 lbs, 19.7 in

They bring us and our new bundles back the room where my mom and sister are waiting and we gawk over how precious they are and decide which baby gets which name. (And no, the names aren't coordinating or matchy or have any special meaning--just two names we liked. The middle names are our moms' maiden names.) 

And we thought Clark's legs were scrawny!

And that was the time I gave birth to two babies in 15 minutes after 2 hours of painless labor. I still can't believe it even happened. It just felt like I went to the hospital, chatted with family for a couple hours, and they handed me some perfect little babies! Guess I earned it after the 8 months of hellish pregnancy...or something. In retrospect I'm so glad everything happened the way it did because I might not have even realized I was in labor until it was too late if it had happened naturally (An episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant entitled "Baby in my Sweat Pants" comes to mind...LLLL)

Happy Birthday

Our beautiful little girls arrived yesterday! Everything went so much better than I ever could have hoped and I'm feeling so so grateful. 

 

He doesn't really get it. But he loves them. And poor Jacob has a nasty cold.

Wendy Mead, 6 lbs, 19.7 in

Magnolia (or Maggie or Noli or whatever you please) Taylor, 5 lb 3oz, 19.3 in

Getaway and 26 Weeks

Last week Jacob and I decided kind of last minute that we should hurry and do something fun/relaxing without Clark before I have these babies or am too pregnant to go anywhere. So we left Clark with the grandparents and drove to Carefree where we stayed at the Boulders Resort. It was really pretty and they drove us everywhere in golf carts and we ate lots of really good food. Jacob also scheduled me a maternity massage at the spa which was SO nice.
The last few weeks have been pretty hard on my body. In addition to the normal backaches and discomfort, there's a fiery, piercing pain shooting through my ribs every time I sit or lie for too long. So sleeping has not been going well. Oh well, these babies are worth it, and I'm getting more excited to meet them (but not any time too soon)!

Dad

 

I used to be a little jealous that Clark loves Dad best, but now nothing could make me happier. And when we called Jacob (still in California) on speaker phone the other day and I watched Clark's face go from joy to confused frustration that he couldn't get Dada out of the phone, it made me teary-eyed. Because we both need him here and because so much love in such a little boy is the sweetest thing I ever saw. I really wish every kid could have this kind of dad!

Some things Clark and I love about Jacob:

-He always wears Clark around the house as he vacuums or outside while he does yardwork.

-He's the best story reader. They like to play a game where Clark will press a picture in the book and Jacob will say what it is. Over. And over. ("tree. tree. tree. tree" "butterfly. butterfly. butterfly.") Then he says, "I'm like one of those book toys that reads out loud when you press the button!" I do not have the patience for this game and even when I try to, it's just not the same  

-He knows raising kids is a combined effort, not just the mom's job. The second he gets home from work, no matter how stressful his day, he takes over whatever I'm doing with Clark: playing, feeding, bedtime, etc. On the weekends he tells me to get out by myself or takes Clark out so I can have the house to myself for a little while.

-He can always make us laugh. His hold-Clark-and-crazy-dance parties are way better than mine.

-He sings to Clark almost every night before bed.

-He's always so concerned for our well-being and loves hearing every boring detail and minute milestone of our day.

Anddd he's just really cool. We love you and miss you!

Friday Evening

In honor of beautiful weather and feeling a little less nauseous, I made us a little picnic last night. We put a nice big blanket in the back yard and enjoyed balsamic glazed steak and veggies while Clark sat in his high chair and ate mashed potatoes with a bubble wand he found on a camping chair a few minutes earlier. We're real big on cleanliness. 

I still can't eat a ton, and meat is never my favorite, but sometimes you gotta make your man some steak. Then the next day maybe he'll take you shopping (since your coolest sister gets you 40% off at Anthro) AND let you pick out one of the pretty desserts you pass in the bakery. The weekend's off to a good start!

Day Trip

Part of my Valentine's day "surprise" was that Jacob would take a few days off work when things weren't too crazy and take me to San Francisco, the beach, etc. After a really fun day in San Francisco, we were worn out and decided to just hang out the other days.

Our trip included all my favorite things: giant fabric store, good food, a bakery, cute Asian stuff, and my best buddies

The Worst Valentine's Day

Oops, missed a few days. This goal was a little ambitious and may become more of a weekly thing...

A while ago we were talking about how we should celebrate all the "little" holidays a day late since all the candy goes on sale. So a few days before Valentine's Day, Jacob said we really were gonna so that he could get me twice as much candy. I was all for that. And it was a good thing, because on the real day, his boss all the sudden gave him a huge (insert important-sounding finance thing here) to finish by the end of the day RIGHT when he was about to leave. So he got home late and then worked from home all night, but brought me some redbox rentals as a consolation.
That's why Valentine's Day was the worst, but I was still looking forward to the next day.  Jacob said he was making me dinner and called me while at the grocery store to ask about something or other and said there was NO candy on sale, but he'd keep looking. He got home kinda late again, hurried and made me some special heart-shaped french toast with nutella, and we watched a movie and went to bed. Now I know I should have been grateful, but by the end of the night I finally broke down and started crying because it was just so unlike him to put so little thought and effort into a holiday. This is the guy who goes above and beyond for things that aren't even real holidays. "Now I'm not even worth some non-discounted candy?!" (a little dramatic, I know, but I don't mess around when it comes to my treats).
He let me carry on with this nonsense for about 5 minutes before saying, "Well there's a trunk full of candy I was going to surprise you with and I was trying to plan a fun day in San Fransisco..."
Then I felt really bad/stupid...like he wouldn't get me ANY chocolate. "Well...you should've given it to me today!" and we laughed at me a little and went to bed and everything was fine.

This is (almost) what our dinner looked like

Day 45

Clark has been killing me with how (relatively) affectionate he has been lately. He is really not a cuddly guy, but lately he's been giving hugs out of nowhere ("awww" included) and begging to climb into our laps to read stories. He even rests his head on my shoulder while I sing to him before naps/bedtime instead of protesting over me the whole time.
I really hope this one's NOT a phase, because I can't get enough!

P.s. Happy Valentine's Day! More on that later..

Day 44

Most nights Jacob gets Clark to bed so tonight when he wasn't home I found myself worrying, "oh no, what if he cries because Jacob's not the one putting him down".
Of course he didn't--I am Mom after all--but how lucky that these thoughts even pop into my head! Almost every other mom I talk to frets that her kid will freak out because she's not there to do bedtime, never the other way around. Not to mention I came home to a spotless kitchen last night. I know no one cares to hear about how great my husband is ( except maybe our moms), but he is great and tomorrow is Valentine's Day so deal with it.

Things I love about Clark at 8 months:

-how he carries stuff around in his mouth like a little puppy
-his goofy teeth
-that his favorite toys are his little toothbrush and my measuring tape that looks like a kitty (I know, mother of the year)
-how he presses his face up against the Pack 'n Play
-his version of sign language: signing "more" for more, eat, yes, give-me-that, etc.
-how, even though I try really hard to make him like music that I like, his favorite song is still "Itsy Bitsy Spider"
 -his curiosity. You start to really notice and appreciate all the little things when you spend all your time with someone who is fascinated by everything.

his 2 favorite things. For now.

that kills me

All he wants for Christmas is his two front teeth. Harharhar