4 Months

The best thing about this last month is that the girls started noticing each other and grinning and "chatting" when they catch one another's eye. I love it so much. And they started laughing.

 I also love I still find them like this every morning:

They love eating and I am having a hard time keeping up with them! Up until now they have been almost exclusively breastfed, but I'm going to start supplementing a little, at least until they start solids. I'm amazed and grateful we've made it this long.

10 lb, 15 oz   24.5 in 

Magnolia has a great set of lungs. She can cry so loud. She loves sleeping (which I love), sticking her entire fist in her mouth, and looking really exasperated with us right before she falls asleep. Her eyes have two settings: closed and wide open. 

11 lbs, 3 oz   24.75 in

Wendy is so sweet and friendly. Every morning she greets me with 5 sneezes and a great big smile, even if she's starving. She's rolling a little bit but not consistently. She's taken to sucking on her fingers which is kind of nice because she can sooth herself, but kind of bad because I can't take them away like I can a binky. 

2013

It's been a pretty crazy year for us! If I had to give a theme to this year it would be faith. Not just believing in God, but believing that He's the one in charge (have I mentioned I'm controlling?) Really, he knows what he's doing.

There were several times I looked to the heavens and thought "excuse me, what are you thinking?" and now I can look back at every little (and big) unexpected turn and find something really important that I learned from it. Something I might not have learned otherwise. And it turns out, I love having two babies at once. It's exactly what I never knew I needed. These two little maggots are so perfect for me.

So glad they're a little fatter now, too

Anyhow for the first time it occurred to me that all those times the scriptures say "be not afraid" or the like, it's not just a reassurance. It's a COMMANDMENT. As usual, Jeffrey R. Holland says it best:

"[This] may be one of the Savior's commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord's merciful heart... . May I be bold enough to suggest that it is impossible for anyone who really knows God to doubt his willingness to receive us with open arms in a divine embrace if we will but ‘come unto Him?... I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when He finds that his people do not  feel confident in his care, or secure in His hands". 

Here's to a much less eventful 2014!

Two by two

Jacob's little sister got a kitten for their dad for Christmas and asked us if we would take care of it for a few days before Christmas. So I went to the Nutcracker with my mom and sisters and when I came back we had not only the kitten but a dog as well. Turns out Jacob found the little guy hanging out the garage and felt too bad to leave it all alone out in the cold. Of course. So somehow we had 2 pets for a couple days (that's how we like to do things around here I guess). 

It made me realize that I don't ever want pets until my kids can take care of them. But dogs eating up Clark's messes off the kitchen floor and kittens cuddling up with the girls at any opportunity, kind of amazing. And Clark gets such a kick out of playing with the kitty. 

3 Months

I can't believe we've already had these little girls for three months. And that we've only had them for three months. Babies are weird like that. As I was prepping to have them, my mantra was "just survive the first three months." We did it! Of course every other parent of twins tells me "just survive the first 5 years." YEARS? Really?

thanks for looking at the camera, guys

They have the longest torsos ever. Hence the midriff.
Not too much has changed, still pretty boring and sweet and adorable. One thing I love is how high-pitched their little voices are when they "talk".
Oh, Wendy did her first "roll"...right off the couch *palm smack forehead*. I felt so bad. Good thing they're made of rubber.

What we look like right now

A sweet lady in our ward offered to take Magnolia and Wendy's newborn pictures for free, but I had already set something up with another girl who offered to do them (again, free. Twins are the best!) though I have yet to see those pictures. Anyway since the newborn thing didn't work out, she was kind enough to take our family Christmas photos instead. Not only did she manage to get some where not one of the 3 kids is crying and Jacob and I look (mostly) normal, we were done in 30 minutes and she had them edited and back to me the next day. What a champ! 

And a special thanks to fruit snacks for keeping Clark in one spot for more than 12 seconds. And to my dad for making my necklace. 

And pin a rose on my nose for making my skirt, Wendy's skirt, and Maggie's headband. And the beautiful children. 

He kept wanting to lie down with the babies, because he remembered that we made him do that last time we took pictures.

And this is what we really look like. Sweatshirts and sleep sacks for days. It's a lot of work to get four people ready.

Good Days

This is what a good day looks like around here:

Figuring out it's faster to just walk to the grocery store than it is to load and unload 3 babies. Though I don't know how long this is gonna fly...

If I had a dollar for every time someone stopped me to say "omygosh twins!" Or "wow, you've got your hands full!"...

Mud pit yard after non-stop rain over the weekend

Hours with the train set (best $5 I ever spent at a garage sale)

Doing things ain't nobody got time for because Christmas is coming!

And so I don't forget, cute and/or funny and/or brilliant things Clark has said lately:

- after I said "come help me pick out some clothes", he said "church?". Guess he thinks Sundays are the only days I get dressed. Fine, he's right. 

- while watching a horse-drawn carriage on tv: "horsies driving car!" 

- whenever he sees a butterfly these days, he recites the last few pages of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" which ends up being something like "babble babble two weeks! And then.... butterfly!!!"

I can't remember any more right now which is why I need to start writing them down! 

Stuff We've Done Lately

Clark can be a picky eater sometimes, but happily ate the stump of a broccoli crown? Right now one of his favorite things to do is help dad out in the yard. He just walks around out there picking up dirt and moving it to new places, because it makes him feel important and gets him filthy, which I guess is the goal when you're a toddler. 

Random funny story while I'm talking about Clark: One time after my sister EmmaLee was over, he kept pointing at my chest and saying "EmmaLee". I was confused and figured my shirt looked like the one she had been wearing or something. A few days later he did it again and I noticed it was every time I wore a tight shirt. Eventually I figured out that he thought boobs (is there a more euphemistic word for them...sorry, can't think of one) were called "EmmaLee" because she had pointed to herself and said her name, trying to tell him who she was but he thought she was naming a body part because he loves pointing out people's nose, eyes, ears, etc.  I think I'll just let him think that for now. 

Ok, back to our life.

We went to Zoo Lights for Jacob's work party. For Clark, who gets really excited about turning the kitchen lights on and who loves animals of all kinds, this was heaven--even though the only real animal we saw was a zebra (which he stared at in awe for several minutes), the light up ones were equally exciting. His very favorite thing was when all the lights did a dance to Trans Siberian Orchestra music. 

There was also food and glow sticks, so... 

From left: strangers, Canaya sporting 34 glow sticks, Bethany helping feed babies, me+Wendy, Clark, Clark's wasted dinner

Me as an alien or me as a deer in the headlights. They were both so cute, I just couldn't pick. Also, all the kids went on that carousel. Clark was terrified. 

Other stuff: 

The girls like to torment their cousin Ty. They're just jealous of his thighs. 

We went to the park to have lunch on Veterans Day. It was really crowded and the worst kid park ever.

2 Months

8 lbs 9 oz (10%) 

22 in (50%)

Smiles at Dad the most. Or when she's about to eat

Looks like a little doll

9 lbs 5 oz (22%)

22.75 in (72%)

Smiles at anyone

Looks like her Great Aunt Linda

See?

It's crazy that a lot of babies are born at the weight they are now! They look so big to me. I'm just happy to see them growing. They seem to have pretty similar temperaments. One will be feistier than the other depending on the day/week. But at least they take turns usually. They're also both pretty good sleepers, for which I thank my lucky stars. I really think it's because they have a buddy to spoon with. 

Blessing Day

Last Sunday Jacob blessed Magnolia and Wendy. I felt like it would be a lot of pressure to have to give two blessings in a row, make sure you get the names right, and not say the exact same things twice--especially since both girls were screaming mad about being woken up and taken out of their warm blankeys--but Jacob was definitely inspired and each blessing was equally beautiful and unique.  Amy was kind enough to audio record the blessings on her phone (that's allowed, right?) so it will be nice to be able to go back and listen to them.

After church everyone came over to our house for lunch, and it was so fun to have our house full of guests and hear kids having fun running around (it's a big deal when we've been living in shoe boxes for the last 4 years). And Bethany was kind enough to do a photo shoot with the girls. I won't name names, but one of them was being very cooperative and totally working the camera while the other wanted no part of it.  Oh well, she got cute pictures of all anyway.

Oh, I almost forgot to talk about the dresses! Remember how I knew for sure I was NOT having two girls. So my mom and I found a pretty crochet dress pattern for her to start working on in case there was one girl. She should've just called it quits once we knew there were 2, because we couldn't just let one of them have the special dress and 2 would be way too much work. But she went ahead and made TWO different (but similar) dresses for them. We love them!

Magnolia, Wendy...in case I can't remember in 5 years

Wendy gives her this look often.  I think it means "I love you, but you're nuts."

our favorite son

Ok, I had to remove the individual photos because I couldn't tell who was who. "Honestly woman, and you call yourself our mother". Seriously, what would I do if they were identical?!

Halloween '13

Well I was in no mood to be creative or elaborate with costumes this year, so we whipped out the old Mario and Peach costumes from 5 years ago, rounded up a Luigi costume for Clark, and made some little mushroom hats for the babies. Lucky for me, Amy also lent me this glorious wig to complete the look.

We went to our ward trunk or treat on Tuesday night where I forced Clark to do the cake walk and go from car to car begging for candy...for him of course (no). I guess I'll never be a day older than 12 at heart. By this point he had erased his mustache and refused to keep his hat on, so pretty much just looked like a kid wearing overalls. Jacob pushed the girls in the stroller at a distance and pretended he didn't know me.

On real Halloween we went to the annual Halloween party put on by my sister. Ate soup and bread bowls and amazing homemade donuts and then all the kids went out trick or treating. Jacob took Clark along while I stayed with the babies. I was so excited that he was old enough to justify trick-or-treating but young enough to not know that I would be eating most of his loot. So I was genuinely upset when all the youngins came back with buckets of candy and Clark was empty handed! Apparently Jacob did not feel Clark was old enough to actually participate in the candy-getting part of trick-or-treating. Grrrr. Lesson learned. And I still have the next 2 months of holidays to get fat.

Sunday

Today we brought all 3 kids to all 3 hours of church for the first time. We've been to just sacrament meeting a few times before which was no different than normal, because the babies just sleep the whole time. But by noon, they're ready for lunch. So I went to the mother's lounge with one baby, fed her, changed her and then switched Jacob for the next baby. Worked out pretty well. And I love my ward, because there are like 5 other moms feeding there babies, too, so we get to be social. Sometimes if there's just one other mom, it can be a little awkward (oh hey, my shirt's off and I'm covered in vomit. Nice to meet you). But with a group, it's great. Then in Relief Society a sweet lady held Wendy the whole time while Magnolia slept in her car seat. Thank goodness women love to hold newborns. Also two different people offered to bring me their outgrown extra diapers. The church is true!

Clark also got to go to nursery for the first time. I have looked forward to this day for about 9 months now. Unfortunately (once snack time was over), Clark was not a fan. You always see that clingy kid screaming in nursery and think "that will never be MY kid". Well it is. This seems pretty out of character for him, but he's been pretty dramatic lately. Can't blame him. Better luck next week.

And tonight just before putting Clark to bed, I had one of these rare moments where it fully hits me how lucky I am and my heart is so full of love for these little guys and joy that they're mine. I can't explain it without sounding like a super cheeseball but if you're a mom, you get it. Or just look at this picture and you maybe kind of get it.

1 Month

Well, we've all survived our first month as a family of five! All I can say about my little girls as of now is that they seem to be a bit more calm than a certain older brother was as a newborn and that they love each other--I mean they fused placentas for goodness sake (a fact I will use against them if they ever want there own rooms, or fight.) Every night we put them in the same crib, swaddled, a foot or more apart and somehow they're right up next to each other by the time we get up. It's kind of precious. Until Wendy starts trying to suck on Magnolia's face. Then it's kind of weird.

I've found that I've been able to stay way more laid back with these babies and just enjoy them than I was the first time around because I have Clark as a constant remind of how quick it goes by--seriously weren't you just born?

Anyway, I like the idea of taking photos each month because it's nuts how fast the grow and change during the first year so hopefully I can keep it up.

And world's cutest photo bomber. Little sister's pretty happy about it. 

Today

I need these words pasted to every wall in my house. Really, I've been pretty good about staying positive, patient, and not totally freaking out--which is a big deal for me--but today was just rough.

I take back everything I said about Clark being the sweetest, cutest kid. Ok he's still really cute, but the whining and screaming and tantrums have been OUT of control the last few days. I'm hoping it's because his sick, but I know it's more likely the huge decrease in attention he's getting and his age and being sooo stir crazy (leaving the house right now isn't really an option). That combined with my only getting a few broken hours of sleep last night was a bad combination. And my newborns getting less sleepy... 

At one point all 3 were screaming in unison and I got so overwhelmed at the thought of doing this every. single. day. And start worrying about doing everything right and everything that could go wrong. "Ahh, I can't do this!" 

But I am doing it. And I just have to focus on this day. This feeding. This second. That I can handle. 

Sisters

I'm so excited to watch these two grow up together. 

Coming Home

All I can really say above my recovery is that is was a million times easier than recovering after having Clark.  I've never been so pleased with my body and its ability to do hard things and heal itself so quickly. And while there were a few moments of fear and anxiety, it was nothing like the panic I felt when I first became a mom. There have been way too many miracles in the last 9 months for me to have much doubt that God is looking out for me.

And I mean...

So after two days at the hospital, I was feeling almost completely back to normal and so excited to get home and be with Clark and Jacob (they had been sick so spent very little time in the hospital). On Friday morning the hospital pediatrician came in to check vitals and everything before discharging them. I was on the phone waiting to order my breakfast as he checked them. He told me that Maggie had lost too much weight, so he didn't think it was a good idea to discharge them today. Right as he started to go into more detail, the person on the phone asked me to place my order... "I umm.. hold on". I should've just hung up, but I froze and wasn't thinking clearly. The pediatrician stormed off as if I'd offended him (I'm sure he was just busy) so I finished placing my order, not feeling at all hungry anymore.

Just then my mom came back from getting her breakfast, and I just burst into tears. I felt so guilty that we hadn't gotten the babies to eat more and that I'd offended the pediatrician and that I couldn't be home taking care of the rest of my family. Then of course my nurses for the day walked in and I was embarrassed to be such a wreck, but surely they see lots of crazy hormonal women. Everyone reassured me and made me feel a little better. And we dedicated all day to getting those babies fattened up which meant waking them up every 3 hours, day and night, and forcing them to eat. Considering it took about an hour to get them both fed, burped, and changed, I could never sleep more than two hours at a time--it was exhausting! We were thrilled when we took them to their midnight weigh-in, and they'd both gained weight.

So imagine my shock and frustration when the pediatrician came in the next morning and said we would have to stay at least one more day since Wendy was still losing weight. Whaaa? I told him that I was pretty sure the nurse said they had both gained last night, but didn't want to argue with him. But after he left my mom affirmed that she had definitely said that and went to ask the nurse about it. Pretty much the lady working that night had entered the WRONG weight in the computer. I was really annoyed and so sick of being in the dang hospital, especially since I wasn't getting free meals anymore and knew we were just racking up the bills because of someone's mistake. Oh well. We kept working hard to get the girls to eat and finally got to go home on Sunday morning.

So far, things have been going better than I expected. This is probably because the babies just sleep most of the time still, but I'll take it. I'm also really pleased with how great Clark has been. No jealousy or clinginess or resentment toward the babies. He just plays happily on his own most of the day and occasionally wants to touch one of his sisters, but is pretty much over the novelty now and lets them be. When one of them cries, he gets really concerned and says "Happened?!" (as in "what happened?"). I could not have asked for a better kid to throw into such a crazy situation. Breastfeeding both girls has gone way better than I had hoped, too. I had pretty low expectations from the beginning since I had a hard enough time with just one baby, and I didn't know if I'd produce enough to feed them both or have the patience or if they'd struggle more since they were a little premature. But so far, they're doing great! It's a little tricky to feed and burp them both at the same time but I got world's most obnoxiously huge nursing pillow, and we're starting to get the hang of it.

Ok, I feel like this is all a big brag about how great my life is, but I really feel so blessed. And it can be really hard and overwhelming sometimes, but thank goodness for all the family nearby!


Bethany came over to get some photos of our family which was next to impossible (have you met Clark?). Somehow she managed to catch a few gems though!

He kills me

"Here, Maggie. Have a cookie"