Thursday, January 2, 2014

Truth is

I really lost it today. I can only calmly respond to whiney snot-nosed whining combined with infant-screamingx2 while trying to make dinner for us and someone else (don't even get me started on the irony of that assignment) before I just snap. But why are you always sick? And how am I supposed to get anything done when you follow me around whining  "hold youuu" all. day. long? 
Ya I lost it. And then I felt bad. And then the second he was in bed, I felt worse. Ok I'll hold you. Now I want to hold you. 

It's so frustrating to not be perfect but I don't want to pretend I'm even close. I am learning and I am trying and I want really really bad to be good but I've got a ways to go. Great start to the nice clean slate of a year huh? Deep breath, refocus, try again tomorrow. 

Any advice for staying calm? Do they forgive you when you hurt their little feelings? Sometimes I wonder if parenting isn't all for our sake and we just hope we don't do too much damage to the sweet, pefect spirits we're given. 


s.s. bazodi said...

I think it's healthy for kids to see their parents frustrated. When he gets older you can talk to him about it after. I am constantly having to pull students aside and say, "the way I responded to you was not great, and not how I want to communicate. Ill try to be more patient when your bugging the SHIZ out of me." and I honestly think they appreciate an adult admitting their faults. Plus, we are not any worse off after hearing mom tell us "it's curtains!" or "I'm sick of this D-A-M-N mess". Especially because the breakdowns were balanced with many more moments of fun and love.

Scott & Megan Cardon said...

I agree with Bethany. I think most parents lose it once in awhile (or judgments here). I think that as long as parents can recognize when they've lost control of their emotions and apologize, kids bounce back okay. I know that I always appreciated when my dad would take the time to go in to my room after a fight and apologize for losing his temper and show that he still loves me. And I totally feel that this whole parenting thing is largely for us adults to learn. I don't think I am always the best parent to my son, but I am sure learning how to be a better parent and a better person. I think you are a really good mom and really admire how you've been handling three tinies! BRAVO! And London's sick allll the time too. It's frustrating. During the sick weeks/months, I'm convinced it's all about survival whatever you have to do to get through the day-it's okay.

David, Melissa, and kids said...

They seem to remember the good stuff and don't remember the bad stuff, thankfully.
Try to act how you want them to act when they feel like that, because they will someday... we all do. Sometimes I give myself a timeout to go cool down in the other room or outside, and then when they are frustrated they will do that too.

Lari said...

As your mom, I'm still wondering the same thing. I have lived my entire life feeling exactly the same as you just expressed (and expressed VERY well.)and I am still wondering how much I damaged all of you. I think you all turned out AMAZINGLY wonderful despite me. Have hope!